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What's easier for you: to understand or to express emotions?
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| lovefootball) | Date: Tuesday, 06.07.2010, 16:37 | Message # 31 |
 Dean
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| But we are learning and it's very important! Of course, we make mistakes but we learn from them. We also accept eternal truths and learn from previous experience. I mean shaping personalities requires time and patience.
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| Former-Teacher | Date: Wednesday, 07.07.2010, 11:50 | Message # 32 |
 Dean
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| I think you haven't got ther point. School should teach children how to be successful in the society. Scholl should equip children with ways and methods how to gain success, be responsible, be confident. Parents should also do it. Young people have never had any lesson of psychological obeservations, don't know (including myself) how to make a psychological portrait of a person or a profile of a situation quickly and sensibly. When Seagull says that his mood governs him, he means to say that he doesn't care for his senses, that he can't control his thoughts and behaviour. When a person is angry or depressed, he/she must understand it and know how to overcome it. If he stays depressed for a long time, it means that the person wants it or can't get rid of it. Depending on the cause of anger or depression, there are different mechanisms and tools for self-control.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Wednesday, 07.07.2010, 20:13 | Message # 33 |
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Dean
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| And what should govern a person? Or we just need balance?
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| Teacher | Date: Saturday, 10.07.2010, 12:24 | Message # 34 |
 Head teacher
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| lovefootball), in most cases mind should govern us. But on the other hand, we need a balance between our mind and feelings.
In Vino Veritas...
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| lovefootball) | Date: Saturday, 10.07.2010, 15:41 | Message # 35 |
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Dean
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| It's a question of self-control, I think.
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| Former-Teacher | Date: Friday, 23.07.2010, 14:50 | Message # 36 |
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Dean
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| Well, what are possible tools/ways of self-control? Can we harness our excessive feeling and emotions? One good way is this: stop to think, desrcribe the situation calmly to yourself, say whether you need it or not, tell yourself how to make it benefitial for yourself.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Tuesday, 27.07.2010, 12:57 | Message # 37 |
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Dean
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| We need to think rationally in all ticklish situations.
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| Nadya | Date: Sunday, 24.10.2010, 20:30 | Message # 38 |
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| As for me-it's easier to understand somebody and to support him/her rather than to express emotions. I can listen to my friend and try to help in different situations. And in most cases it works. So I'm a good listener but I don't like to express emotions because I try to keep my emotions inside myself. It's easier to say "I'm fine" rather than tell everything.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Sunday, 24.07.2011, 17:45 | Message # 39 |
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Dean
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| I think I understand you quite well. Though at first sight it seems to be a piece of cake (what can be easier than having a good cry and relieving one's feelings??))), the problem is deeper if we look at it more closely. Who wants to trouble oneself with your problems? I know that a lot of people believe that friendship presupposes sharing feelings and problems with each other but the point is that there is a great difference between this very harmless and natural "sharing" and bald "burdening"...) I'm strongly convinced that the security of your own soul and peace of mind must be of PRIMARY importance. So, it's essential to separate the others' emotions from your own heart: help if you can and if you're asked for it but don't soak yourself in unnecessary troubles)
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| Nikky | Date: Wednesday, 14.09.2011, 16:24 | Message # 40 |
 Course monitor
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| Quote (lovefootball)) So, it's essential to separate the others' emotions from your own heart: help if you can and if you're asked for it but don't soak yourself in unnecessary troubles)
In some situations it's impossible, I think. If we're talking about someone's close problems. If your best friend has some problems, he\she has told you about them but he\she hasn't asked for help. You see that this person can't deal with this problem, your friend withdrawn into himself. What will you do? I think you will try to help him. And if you can't help you'll just try to cheer him
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| lovefootball) | Date: Thursday, 15.09.2011, 23:16 | Message # 41 |
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Dean
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| Actually I faced such a situation some months ago and that's what I've learnt-never try to impose your help on a person, no matter how close to you he/she is,otherwise you'll either spoil everything or ruin your relations. A friend of mine was in deep depression. To call her my friend is to say nothing, we're so close as if we were sisters. Thus it's easy to imagine how I felt at that time. I had tried to cheer her up thousands times before I realized that there are questions to which one should find answers absolutely alone. Fortunately,we managed to cope with that period without losses and now I know how to behave if something of this kind happens again)
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| Nikky | Date: Saturday, 17.09.2011, 11:44 | Message # 42 |
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| I think your friend had serious questions. In such a situation it's normal to say that your friend should answers alone but at the same time if she needs your help you're ready. But if we're talking about more eeeeh... trivial problems like "My boyfriend said such a rude thing!" or something like that it's normally try to explain the situation to your friend.
But if we're talking about something more serious it's normal to let a person to find his own answer. I believe that we have big problems in our live just to learn about this world. During finding these answers we learn how to behave, think.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Saturday, 17.09.2011, 18:56 | Message # 43 |
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Dean
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| Ha-ha,oh, these omnipresent boyfriends!))) Well, if we consider everyday matters...I've always wanted to know how to behave in a situation like this:a good friend of yours curses up hill and down dale, complaining about her beloved, parents, teachers, colleagues (I guess the list is rather well-known)))). The point is that you totally disagree with her/him! What's the best way out then? On the one hand everyone realizes quite clearly that at such moments no one wants to hear the truth and much less moral teaching. But on the other hand a lot of people believe that true friends should always tell their own) H'm, actually I don't support this viewpoint and in most cases I prefer to say, "Yes-yes, sure"))
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| Nikky | Date: Saturday, 17.09.2011, 23:30 | Message # 44 |
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| I usually tell the truth 
But I never say "Oh, you're fool, it's your fault"  It's important to be calm and to explain your opinion correctly. If you don't blame this person he\she will understand.
I believe in everyday problems it helps.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Monday, 19.09.2011, 21:01 | Message # 45 |
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Dean
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| And you've never run into any problems adhering to such policy? To tell the truth when I feel that I'm about to express a "proper" point of view (everyone knows that the onlooker sees most of the game, of course, it's a joke, I don't believe in it at all because what's going on in private realtions is an unbeaten track for others no matter how sophisticated and self-assured they are)))) I try to imagine myself in my friend's shoes: it hurts badly, in the depth of my heart I know and even admit my fault but still nothing can be changed, my only wish is the warm words of approval from a person who understands me and knows more than both of us want to hear... I think it's a kind of secret agreement.
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