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When and how to build a family?
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| Nekavaen | Date: Tuesday, 26.10.2010, 23:35 | Message # 61 |
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| You are right, Lovefootball, there used to be fewer divorces in the past. But can we really consider it as a sign of well-being and happiness? Maybe the relationships between people were the same and many of them wanted to divorce but it was forbidden according to ancient traditions or they were afraid of what neighbors, parents and colleagues might think of them.
And if we speak about Asia, yes, even nowadays they divorce quite rarely. But again it doesn’t mean that their life is more stable and their relationships are more affectionate and respectful than ours. Our Japanese teacher once told us that people in his native country are taught to wear masks in public from the early childhood and NOBODY will know what happens there, behind the closed doors of a family house. And very often Japanese women regret they can’t divorce easily. They have the same problems our wives are trying desperately to cope with but can’t start a new life.
So, freedom of leaving your husband or wife if you really want it is not as bad as it may seem at first sight.
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
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| lovefootball) | Date: Wednesday, 27.10.2010, 22:48 | Message # 62 |
 Dean
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| Well, this wearing masks is not a bad thing, I guess. I mean it's absolutely needless to wash one's dirty linen in public.
I agree that everyone has similar problems but still we should admit that parents will never do us harm . After all they are wise and experienced.
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| Nekavaen | Date: Friday, 29.10.2010, 23:36 | Message # 63 |
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| Yes, but still there are situations when parents want to be of help but spoil everything.
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
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| lovefootball) | Date: Saturday, 30.10.2010, 20:41 | Message # 64 |
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Dean
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| Why? On the contrary, they do their best to put us right. We are just too emotional to understand them, I think.
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| Nekavaen | Date: Saturday, 30.10.2010, 20:59 | Message # 65 |
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| Maybe, but what if the life WE WANT to chose and the ideals and values WE ARE willing to follow differ from their wishes? We can't listen to them all the time!
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
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| lovefootball) | Date: Sunday, 31.10.2010, 10:43 | Message # 66 |
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Dean
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| Of course, we should have a head upon shoulders but it's necessary to defer to their opinion.
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| Nekavaen | Date: Sunday, 31.10.2010, 21:25 | Message # 67 |
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| I think, it's natural for a young person to seek support when an important decision should be made. But sometimes it happens so that not parents but, for example, friends or TEACHERS understand us better and know what we really need better.
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
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| lovefootball) | Date: Monday, 01.11.2010, 21:33 | Message # 68 |
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Dean
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| Do you think strangers can have a profound impact on us? Do they know all the subtleties of our nature?
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| Nekavaen | Date: Monday, 01.11.2010, 21:51 | Message # 69 |
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| STRANGERS can't know me well and have no right to tell me what to do. But I'm not talking about strangers. I wanted to say that parents are often too busy with their work and solving their personal problems. So, many youngsters have to find care and support not at home but somewhere esle talking to people who are really interested in their troubles and wishes. Sometimes friends know us better and it's more reasonable to talk to them instead of trying to explain you parents various things they will never consider as meaningful and worth discissing seriously.
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
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| MissJane | Date: Thursday, 04.11.2010, 10:45 | Message # 70 |
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| Parents have a great impact on us (even if you deny it). When it comes to getting married, they sometimes try to protrude their opinion and often become a very significant obstacle in marriage affairs. I think the main reason they do it is their dissatisfaction with their own family life. How often you may hear a mother talking to her daughter: "Look at your father! Don't repeat my mistake! Learn from my mistakes!" Of course, it is a wish to make children happy, but almost always this wish turns into a bomb set afire.
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| lovefootball) | Date: Thursday, 04.11.2010, 14:44 | Message # 71 |
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Dean
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| That's not a good example of upbringing, I should say) The worst is that such a peson will try to follow his parents' pattern subconsciously.Nobody can tell how all this will end. A divorce, I guess.
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| Teacher | Date: Friday, 05.11.2010, 02:36 | Message # 72 |
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| lovefootball), or a long unhappy life.
In Vino Veritas...
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| Sileneee | Date: Tuesday, 07.12.2010, 17:13 | Message # 73 |
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| I believe that people should create a family when they feel that they are ready to be together all their life and it does not depend on their age.Of course, people often make mistakes, some men think that it's better to wait for best times and they wait...wait...wait and the result is they are lonely and nobody wants to be with them.
It's our life and we should decide everything ourselves because our parents also make mistakes. Life is a very difficult thing and, unfortunately, we can't know what will happen. 
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| lovefootball) | Date: Tuesday, 07.12.2010, 19:25 | Message # 74 |
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Dean
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| I see some incongruity in your words. Is it possible that a young, passionate and inexperienced person can decide (after weighing all pros and contras) whether he wants to be together with someone or not? It's usually very difficult for young people to make head or tail of their own character, preferences, views and so on. And one more thing.I guess it's a mistake of a lot of people (especially in Russia) to think that if you aren't married when you're, let's say, 23, you'll remain alone and no one will ever pay attention to you. It's insulting, I think.
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| Nekavaen | Date: Wednesday, 08.12.2010, 00:52 | Message # 75 |
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| Yes, it's insulting to hear, for example: "How old are you, dear? 20? And you don't even have a boyfriend? Poor girl... I'm so sorry..."
And what if my plans for the future don't boil down to getting married as soon as possible? Maybe, I want to get good education and get on my feet first. Or maybe, it's my fate to be a single person and I really enjoy being alone.
It is not human to be without shame and without desire. (Ursula K. Le Guin)
Message edited by Nekavaen - Wednesday, 08.12.2010, 00:53 |
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