– How are you? – Fine, thanks. And you? – I’m fine, too. Quite a familiar piece of dialogue, don’t you think so? Such conversations are very common in our daily life. But let’s analyze, what do we need such communication for? Do we want our interlocutors to answer how they are doing? Or do we simply want to be polite? Well, in most cases this is really the matter of politeness. Now let’s pass to the answer. “I’m fine” – sounds really nice, but do you believe the person has told you the truth? Or is it the matter of politeness again? Of course, very often something goes in a wrong way and we are not fine, on the contrary, we are really sad or disappointed. But we say, “Yeah, I’m fine!” not to bother the partner and not to waste time telling him or her about your misfortune in detail. What’s the conclusion then? Though it seems to sound ridiculous, it is quite logical. This how-are-you-conversation is hypocritical. Twice. The one who asks the question usually doesn’t want to hear the answer. The one who answers doesn’t reveal the truth. So… It is quite obvious now that communication hypocrisy is a very common thing. Now let’s analyze the necessity of this hypocrisy. Let’s say whether it helps us or should be avoided. Let’s consider another example then. – How do you like my new dress? (1) Well… It’s nice. (2) Actually I don’t like it. Which answer do you consider to be more appropriate if 1. the speakers are good friends; 2. the speakers are just colleagues. You’ve made your choice. Have you chosen the first answer at least once? Then you find hypocrisy not so bad and even useful. Well, you are right to some extent. Hypocrisy makes our life easier. It helps us maintain friendly (or other) relationships. But keep in mind that when the truth is revealed hypocrites experience not best days in their lives. Have you chosen the second answer twice? Then you think that bitter truth is better than sweet lies. And you are right. It’s better to know that the dress does not suit you and the next time you go shopping choose something more modern or of different colour or simply of different size. Isn’t it better to know the truth than to be deceived?! But be careful not to offend people with your truth! Communication hypocrisy is a double-edge sword. Be very careful with it!
