The problem of "fathers and their
children”is as old as the hills. Philosophers, psychologists, writers, sages…
They all try to solve this problem. But, unfortunately, it still exists. So what’s
the problem?
The version of children:
Our parents want us to be the best children. They want to give us more
than they had in their childhood. They also think they know this world better
than we. And, of course, it’s only their right to choose our way in life. They think
that we will always be their children, so they can teach us how to live all
the time.
The version of parents:
Our children are nihilists. They think they are cleverer than us. But they
don’t have life experience. They can only shout that they know this world and
people around them. They will always be our children, so we can teach them how to
live all the time.
My version:
Both parents and their children are wrong! Do you know why? They don’t hear
each other. They don’t try to hear each other. They even don’t think about it.
So, let’s sometimes forget about our roles in the play "Family Life” and listen to what our
relatives say and want.
But! I will be a
despot in my future family. There will be only my word and the wrong one.
Well, I think I was wrong. Young people are often the cause of the generation gap. A good way out is to live seperately and meet (family reunion) on rare occasions. In official situations, this never arises. Nobody cares.
There is a always a black sheep in the family. Problems occur, conflicts happen, quarrels take place. This is a portrait of a whole society in the image of one family. My advice - never think of the generation gap in your family. Just live and be observant. If your father or mother doesn't understand you or shout at you or reprimand you, it doesn't mean that there is a generation gap. The same happens to people of any age at at any time. It just means that there are things (objects, ideas, principles, other people, habits, hobbies, clothes, etc.) which are treated differently. That's all. Persoanlly, I have never experienced any generation gap, when I was young or nowdays. Quarrels - yes, conflicts - yes, hatred - never, differences - yes, similarities - yes.
I think you mean, that misunderstanding is not always the cause of quarrels or conflicts, so that's why we can't say that generation gap is a great problem and so on and so forth.
Well, in principle, we face such "gaps" not only in this very case (parents-children) but in many others, I mean teachers-students, brothers and sisters....
Children have never been responsible for the generation-gap problem. Their parents and the society at large invented it in order to explain fast changing social values and issues. A child lives following the life principles of his/her parents. Parents or grown-ups have a lot of ambitions. They are always in a hurry. They have a lot to do. Being more attentive to the child often means giving the child more of their own time. The more prosperous society is, the fewer children it tends to have. The reason - catering for your own needs and demands instead of raising and rearing children. Parents and children hear each other quite well. Are they ready to understand that they are different generations and have no right to be like each other? They are to develop, to go further, to try new things, to see the world through their own eyes, to build their own new families that will carry on their own family values based on their own histories of living in the family. It's not a gap, it's a jump towards new relationships.
The problem is so deep, I've just never thought about it properly! But you are describing development. And what about awful quarrels that take place so often between children and parents? Do all of them arise from misunderstanding? As I understand, the problem is that both children and parents want to change each other?
But even if they hear each other, it won't solve the problem. Sometimes it's difficult for diplomats to reach agreement and we are speaking about nervous teens and their no less nervous parents. Maybe, this period (I mean especially critical situations, when children become teens) should be just went through and forgotten.
That's true, they say that all our inner problems derive from childhood. But it doesn't mean that everything is so pessimistic.We also learn some lesson from this age.
